Building Discipline and Getting Important Things Done | #TomFerryShow

Building Discipline and Getting Important Things Done | #TomFerryShow


– If there’s something
you know you need to do and you just don’t do it,
this is the show for you. (upbeat music) Welcome to the Tom Ferry Show. Today, I wanna get very real with you. When I look back and reflect
on even just last week, many of the people I’m talking to are finding themselves in this, this state where they know that they
should be making phone calls. They know they should be following up. They know that they should
be doing these certain things every single day that given
the power, and yet they don’t. And I’m just curious,
opening up this video, do you know someone like that? Do you know someone intimately like that? Where maybe, it’s you,
you know there’s just certain behaviors and certain
actions and certain tasks that when you do them,
you get amazing results and your self esteem and your business, everything grows, and
yet you’re inconsistent. Do you know someone like that? I wanna talk to you today
about what I’ve done in my own life to go
from a very high creative to a high creative who
executes his face off, who has discipline as one
of my greatest assets today. And listen, it is a trained
behavior, my friends. It is a trained behavior. You’ve heard me talk
about the Emerson quote. It’s one of my all time favorites. “Do the thing, have the power. Do not the thing, have not the power.” If I could help you
accomplish one thing today it would be to show you
exactly how you do the thing to get the power, so let’s
jump right into that. I actually wrote down for you, and I’d love, I’d actually love, Richard, can we put it like
right here to the right? So as you look at this over here, what you see is the thing
that one of my early mentors taught me, you
know, a gazillion years ago. He said to me, Tom, everyone says to you, you need to have a good attitude. You know, your attitude is
just simply how you view the world and you may be saying, “Tom what does this have
to do with behaviors?” Follow along. I was always intrigued by like, how do I have that right attitude, that go getter attitude,
that go getter mindset? And it wasn’t until
Bill Mitchell said to me that your attitude, you
have to first look up here. Your attitude is a
representation of three things. One, is your self talk, the
things you say to yourself, about yourself, and other people. It’s the narrative and story of your life. We all know that person that,
they literally talk themselves out of success every single day. They’re constantly sharing their
problems, their complaints, telling us what they’re not good at, how they’re bad at this. Do you know someone like that? Like, do you have some
self awareness around that? So that’s your self talk, the
things you say to yourself, about yourself, and other
people, and the most damaging is the things you’re saying to yourself, that are actually stymying your growth. The second thing he said is your focus, and I said, could you help me understand? He said, your focus is determined by the questions that you
ask yourself most often, so if you ask yourself
questions like, why is there no inventory and how come
my business is this way? If you’re asking questions
like that, your brain is gonna give you the answers,
and actually reinforce more of what you don’t
want, so we have to take responsibility for the
questions that we ask ourselves to direct our focus towards
what it is that we want. Our goals, our dreams, the mission, what gives us passion,
what gives us energy, not what takes our power away. The third part he said is your physiology, the way you move your body. I think about professional athletes, rockstar salespeople like yourself. They have a certain physical
swagger about them, right? Like that walk when you
just took the listing or you just made a sale, or
you just helped a client. You talked them out of doing a deal and you just felt so great about it. It shows in your physiology. I used to do this example
all the time in seminars. I’d say, everybody take
your arms and go like this. Now if you’re driving,
please don’t do this. And it’d be hysterical if you were just on a train right now with your earbuds, actually put your arms
up in the air like this. If you put your arms up
in the air like this, oh that’s good, Richard,
behind the camera’s doing it, and you look straight
up, and you put a really big, goofy smile on your face. In this position, get depressed. Let me give you a little heads up. You can’t, because this
is the physiology of like, joy, and celebration, and fun. We know, we know the
physiology when I say, hey, make your phone calls. We see people literally,
physically collapse. Now, those three things are just a representation of your attitude. Go old school, Zig Ziglar,
he’d say, you know, y’all need to check up from the neck up, when he was talking about your attitude. My mentor Bill Mitchell
said, that attitude is your self talk, right, the
things you say to yourself, your focus, the questions
you ask yourself most often, and how that dictates your narrative, and then the way you
move your body, right? Move your body in a powerful way, you’re gonna act more powerfully. Move your body in a
soft, eh-huh way, right? You’re screwed. You know this to be true,
so these three things control your attitude, and your attitude is simply your view of the world. That’s really all it is. Do you see the glass half
full, do you see it half empty? Do you see nothing but
opportunity in your marketplace, or do you see a lack of
inventory in your marketplace? It’s just your view of the world. But here’s the bummer, you ready? How you view the world determines
the actions that you take. And guess what? If I view the world as,
the services that I deliver help customers, and you know what? They need good, quality
rockstar real estate agents like myself, so I’m gonna talk to
everybody I can to help those people, well then you’re gonna
take all the right action. If you see yourself, if you
have a fiduciary responsibility to make sure that everyone
inside your database knows exactly what’s
going on in the market, what’s the current value of their home, and that are they taking care
of it, and are their friends taken care of, or are
they going to some website and now being passed around the Internet to some strange agent? Like if you feel in your heart of hearts, that you have that responsibility, then you’re gonna make the
phone calls to your database. You’re gonna make all
those follow up calls. If you recognize that the
average person could take five to seven, you know,
contacts and conversations before they make a decision,
you’re never gonna get upset the first time you’re on the
phone with someone who says, hey, you know, would you follow up? And then you’re in that game, and you’re doing the follow up process. You know that that’s
a part of the process, so your actions are aligned,
are you with me on this? See, it starts up here. Self talk, focus, and then the way you move your body impacts your attitude. Your attitude determines your action But what if my self talk is, oh my God, this is just, you know,
this is just so hard and I’m just not good at it, I’ve never, I’ve never been good at the phone, I’m just, I’m just not good at the phone. What? But people say that kind of stuff, and then, look at their attitude, and then look at the actions
they take, or in this case, don’t take, and here’s
the bummer, you ready? Action or no action produces a result. And your result, guess what they do? They reinforce your self talk,
your focus, and your action. So let’s look at the
ideal scenario, you ready? ‘Cause I know a lot of
you, you’re like, okay, conceptually I get it, I can see the visual that Richard put up here. At the end of the day, early in my career, and even today, if you see me backstage, I’m still running the same
patterns over and over again to make sure that when I get
on stage, I’m ready to deliver. Before I get on a coaching
session, I’m ready to deliver. Before I go into a meeting,
I’m ready to deliver. I don’t want to show up
and have this, right, my psychology not be prepared,
and I know you want the same. So you ready? So let’s talk about the
three actions that I’ve taken repeatedly, and I’m
strongly recommending for you. The very first action is awareness. Becoming aware that this
current pattern you’re running is actually creating a
disaster in your life. Becoming aware that your self
talk does have an impact. Becoming aware that the
questions that you’re asking yourself, why does
this keep happening to me? is exactly why it keeps happening to you. And also awareness, and
you know this, that the way you move your body impacts
everything in your life. So awareness is the first
thing, but under awareness, this is what I did early
and I continue to do today. If I really need to get myself
committed around something, I’ll ask myself, what are the
serious, negative consequences I’m going to experience if I
continue doing this behavior? What are the serious,
negative consequences I, and I literally will start writing out stuff that is painful, right,
that hurts my feelings, that makes me feel and
look bad in my own mind, like I’m trying to create enough pain where I finally say, enough is enough, I’m gonna do the right thing. You’ve got to get to that point of pain to move the emotional needle
to get you into action. Then I go to the flip side and say, but what are the positive
benefits of me doing so? Right, how am I gonna feel? What are others gonna say? What’s gonna be the impact on my family? How am I gonna feel about myself? And you start to ask yourself those positive questions and you list them out. Now here’s the deal, Tony Robbins made his entire career on this. What’s his line? We’ll do more to avoid pain
than we will to gain pleasure? Right, that’s old school psychology. Get enough fear and
anxiety and stress and pain out into your future, and
you’re gonna immediately start saying, I gotta
detour away from that. But what I am gonna detour and go towards? The things I most want, the benefits. So awareness is the first
step, but you really gotta slam it home with that
intense fear and pain, like consider, you don’t
make your phone calls, everyone in your family suffers. You don’t make your
phone calls, you suffer. And until you get that,
until it really digs into you emotionally, you’re not
gonna make the adjustment. And guess what? When you start to make the adjustment, then you gotta think
about all the benefits, the reasons why you’re doing
it, so that’s number one, and if you just stop there,
you’re gonna do really well. Look at number two. You have to replace, replace the old pattern with the new pattern. I would actually ask people,
I did this two years ago at the summit where I said,
do me a favor right now, buddy up, 6,000 people
partnered up in twos, and I said, show them what you
do before you actually say, I’m gonna make some phone calls. Or, like, in that moment,
and literally you had, you know, 3,000 people at a time going, okay, I gotta make my phone calls, and you could, you could
see the whole room, their physiology was off, you
could hear the conversations in the room were meek and not powerful. They actually were
showing, this is what I do, basically to create call avoidance. Then I said, now let’s
create a new pattern. So what would you say to yourself, right, before you make the phone calls
to really empower yourself? What question would you ask to drive home, in the case of the phone calls, the right behavior, the
benefits of as an example, and then how would you move your body? And guess what, now all of a
sudden we create this magic, where literally people
are doing this, like, okay right now, like I’m
fired up, I love the phone, I love getting on the phone,
I love helping customers, I love making phone calls,
I love solving problems, I love reaching out to people, you know, they’re just, they’re in this dialogue, and those were horrible by the way, but it’s just a simple example. The bottom line is, you start
talking yourself into it. Now think about it like this, every professional athlete does it,
every professional athlete. They’re talking themselves
into what they want, they’re talking themselves into success, and by the way, if you’re
in a cubicle environment and you want your own private office, this is how I did it early on, I would just walk around and go, right now I can have my (mumbles), I’d just do my affirmations,
I’d be fired up, and like finally, Greg Aller,
my first sales manager’s like, we need to get you an office, so that’s another positive
benefit, doing the affirmations. But then I’d start asking
myself better questions. What do we love about helping people? Why am I really on this planet? Like how is this going to help me achieve my long term mission, right? Are there people in my marketplace right now that need my services? Am I committed to helping those people? And you know what, that begins to shape my focus towards, I
gotta get on the phone. And the phone is a metaphor
for whatever action you’re not taking consistently, and then, moving your body
in a powerful way, right? There’s just something about
putting your shoulders back, putting a smile on your
face, standing tall, I used to imagine, you know,
the Superman cape behind me, you know, the Superwoman cape behind you, and literally you might
even wanna think about getting a physical cape and putting it on before you make your phone calls, because just the act of
putting on that cape, dun-du-du-dun-dun, right, you’re
gonna feel like super you. And guess what, that’s how you start to change the behavior, that’s
how when you hear me say, like, what’s your goal and
what are your behaviors and how do we align them, this
is the alignment strategy. Awareness, what are the
consequences for not taking action, and what are the
benefits for taking action? And then secondly,
replacing the old behavior with the new behavior,
conditioning over and over again, the right self talk, asking
yourself the right questions, and then ultimately starting
to really take responsibility for the way you’re moving your body, now, here’s the bummer, you ready? Number three is where people
get stuck, ’cause you’re like, Tom, okay, conceptually
I know how to do this. Without number three, it doesn’t work. Accountability around conditioning. Accountability around conditioning. Do you follow me on Instagram? Have you noticed on my Instagram stories that I post things like, you know, one of 250, 35 of 250,
Monday through Friday, five days a week, I made this
commitment, last November that I would train five days a week in the gym, right, weight
training, not cardio, weight training, five days a week, and I made the decision to
create massive accountability with you know, 40, 50,000
people on Instagram to let them know I’m
doing it every single day. Does that make sense? That’s a way to make sure
that I’m conditioning the right behavior, showing
up no matter how much sleep or sleep I didn’t get to do the
thing that gives me the power. Does that make sense? So, awareness, replace the
old behavior, and ultimately create the accountability to
condition it, to do the work, and in case you’re wondering,
if you Google right now, how long’s it take to develop a new habit? 21 days is a lie, 21 days is a lie. The science actually says
it’s closer to 66 days, and can be as high as 120 days, so don’t think if you
tried it for three weeks and suddenly you’re healed, no. You’re gonna have to do it over
and over and over and over. But then again, what’s
the benefit of doing so? And what’s the consequence
for being the same? It’s your life, my friends. Who’s ultimately responsible? Who are you? Is this your time? Or are you totally comfortable running some patterns that are absolutely causing you to suffer? No one said you’re on this
planet to suffer, my friend. No one said that, so it’s
time to take responsibility. I really hope you got a
lot of value out of this. This will probably be something you wanna watch three
or four or five times, and then give me some comments below and if you need help, reach
out to me through social media. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, YouTube. I’m here to help, I want you to grow. Thanks so much for watching. Remember always your strategy
matters, and now more than ever, your view of
the world absolutely rules. Hey, it’s coach Tom Ferry. Have you been considering hiring a coach? If so, click the link below
and check out what we do. (beep) Trying to think of the book, um, oh, don’t edit this, it’s
gonna come to me in a second. I’m having one of those mental moments. Um, (beep) I actually have to edit this. I can’t think of the name of the book. – [Man] What’s it about? – Uh. I can see the book in my,
no, it’s not Brian Tracy, it’s no one like that,
it’s the dude from Utah. Yes, this is really good. So I’m kinda known as one take Tom, so if this happens, this is just awkward. It is, it’s not, nope, I’m like literally going through books in my
head, nope, nope, nope, nope. “Slight Edge,” k, got it.

61 thoughts on “Building Discipline and Getting Important Things Done | #TomFerryShow

  1. I always look at this Real Estate industry and chuckle when I think of the ultimate motive for most that get in. Most don't seem to want to do the simple tasks which conveys unprofessionalism, then I think, of course!, for most it's just another "vehicle" for wealth and freedom, people don't want to do the simple tasks yet they want the end result and most are clearly lured in by the "quick riches" mindset. Doesn't work like that unfortunately.

  2. Thank you Tom Ferry. You are a lifesaver. I am almost completing Certificate of Registration course in Property Services in Sydney Australia. I feel confident that I will do great things by watching your videos. I am also willing to seek mentor in the future. Peace.

  3. I SO needed this, I watched it yesterday and today! Yesterday I set up a Networking Group that will start in May, something that has literally been on my 'List' for years. I have to give some of the credit to stumbling on to your video yesterday morning. Thank you!

  4. I definitely needed this reminder. All 3 points are so important to do. Thanks for posting this coach! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

  5. This video was so helpful and powerful, I will be watching this over and over to make my dreams a reality! Thank you Tom wow

  6. Thanks Tom. I am literally going to go door knocking in my neighborhood right now because if this video. Very motivating stuff!

  7. Thanks for all the great tips! I really liked Focus=The questions you ask yourself! I am going to focus on the questions I am asking myself! 🙂

  8. Tom, you're amazing! Thank you for all of the videos! I just got my real estate license and you've helped me a lot to feel fired up and excited even though being a new agent can be overwhelming! No more candy crush during my free time, Tom Ferry all day the way!!! :))))

  9. You are hilarious and awesome. This is just what I needed, and YES, I will be watching again… many times. THANK YOU!

  10. Started watching you because I follow Tammy Pack. I sell hospice services…could not have a more profound reason, to me, to do the thing. Thank you! I needed this.

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